Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
