Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
