I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
