she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
