I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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