I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
