I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
