so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
