I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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