Whod you bang
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
