Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
