you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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