nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
