Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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