she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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