VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
