marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
