so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
