she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
