it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
