oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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