why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize