Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
