Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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