Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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