Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
