So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
