EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
