He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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