You work out of a Hotel?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
