He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
