He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize