Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize