I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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