I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
