dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
