Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
