heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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