dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
