The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
