I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
