she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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