just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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