did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
