She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
