she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
