Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think i got beer on your cat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
