it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
