true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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