The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have post one night stand depression
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
